No pride, no glory.

The problem is pride. That's why we are a Third World nation.

This has bothered me for a while now.

One night I was in my boyfriend's car, waiting. The car window was open and I was playing Temple Run 2 on my phone. A young teenager of about 14-16 passed by outside. Then as if an afterthought, she returned and thought of asking me for money like a beggar would. I disbelievingly said no because I knew she wasn't a beggar. She didn't press it and just continued on as if what she did was normal.

This is not an isolated case. I see this everyday. We are a nation of people asking, waiting for someone to give us money. Isn't that why we're so indebted to IMF? Why we're a nation of families waiting for an OFW relative to send money? Why we have no chance of being a First World country?

Call me cynical and negative but I think in 10 years, we will still be the same country and there will be minimal development. Changing this nation requires changing the mindsets of Filipinos.

Just look at the difference between our beggars and those beggars in other countries like in New York perhaps. There are also beggars in the subways of NY or in the Paris Metro but they do something. They play music or dance or something.

Earlier while I waited for a cab for an hour, a teenage boy approached the waiting line and tried to sell us Sampaguita flowers but you can see his chubby face contorted as if he really wants us to see that he's suffering. He was begging us for money for food. He had a long dialogue but I had no patience to listen.

A few years ago, I used to give money to every beggar who approached me. But now, they just annoy me because of their laziness. I wouldn't give them a cent of my hard-earned money. If they think they're having a hard life, then they should start working. Really working. If there's a will, there's a way. Poverty is not an excuse. It's the person's mindset that will determine whether he will be successful in life or not.

Sadly, we are a nation of lazy people. We're too lazy to work. Too lazy to complain. We go with the flow. We're the kind of people who would fall in line in a bank for an hour instead of asking management to add more tellers to serve us. I am guilty of that too.

We are too nice. We're too lazy. We don't value time because we only use it anyway to wait for money to come to us. We are not going anywhere.

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Apologies if you're reading this and you're offended. I'm just pissed because I waited an hour for a taxi. And this is what was running in my head.

(As usual, sorry for the grammatical errors.)

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I forgot to mention the PLDT phone booth at the Megastrip exit in Building A. I used it to try and call someone and it took my coins even if the call wasn't connected! That was P28 and there was no number to call to complain!

If this happens in Japan, they'll reimburse you no matter how small. But here, you just have to accept that the phone booths eat coins and they can never be perfect!

My baby size quilt!

Or is it dog size quilt? It's 32.5 x 48 inches. 

I thought i would hate binding the quilt but it was fun! 

And most of all, i got lucky that my bias tape didn't run out

even though i started without measuring the quilt area first :)

I love quilting more than writing! But i have to take quilting classes somewhere...

book lamps again!

i had to do more book lamps for my handmade gift list 2012.

if you want one for yourself, just follow the instructions i made below :)

driven, happy and ambitious in 2013!

i'm making the most of my jet lag.

the day after we arrived, i immediately worked on my store inventory, accounting etc. i still haven't done my business plan as the book said but the inventory alone took me a day to finish. the Math part was especially draining and to think i'm a BS Math graduate!

i woke up at past 7am and tended to my online store. the rest of the day I dedicated to converting the other room to a craft room. i didn't take the before picture but just imagine this room as a stock room.  After hours of cleaning, this was how it looked like:

another few hours after cleaning and sorting out my stash...

im happiest about the lighting (i used the one from the lightbox) and the big table which contains my cutting mat and my DIY lightbox among other stash.  there's no more squinting from now on!

after cleaning, i tried to block the two scarves on the bed). i don't know how they will come out because it's my first real try at blocking. who enjoys doing it? i don't. i hate it. or maybe i just need the right materials. the scarf was too long for the bed but i have no choice because i don't have a steam iron and no blocking board :(

i finished at past 9pm yet there's still a lot to do. the luggages are not included in the picture but they're a mess at the far bottom right of the picture. the two vintage bikes are also hidden from the pic. there's nowhere to park them so i really need to get rid of them soon! 

interesting in buying them? the one with the basket is good as new. it was Erik's gift to me for Xmas 2011. a month or so later, he brought home the other bike without a basket so he could bike with me daw. it never happened of course haha! 

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i've been working the whole day! it's true what i read about having your own business; you won't work 8-5 but the whole day if needed because it's going to be hard work all throughout. i don't mind though.  i'm happy and fulfilled. i feel like i'm doing something worthwhile. i now have a clear goal on what i want to achieve. 

sleepy now. good night! :)

yarns and kisses

i finally got to finish this fingerless gloves for erik. 

mine is missing it's partner so it's useless for this trip. 

this turquoise scarf is also finished!

but i haven't blocked it yet. will do it after the trip

because if i do it now, it won't be ready in time for our flight :(

i started this wool/acrylic scarf last night. i was hoping to bring it with me

on the plane (does Cathay Pacific allow knitting needles in cabin baggage?)

anyway on second thought this looks like it needs to be blocked first before use

so i'll just finish it when i get back.

last night i was knitting while eating this Hershey's Kisses which a couple gave me as a Xmas gift.  sometimes the best gifts come from people you don't expect to receive gifts from.  and this is one of them. 

the couple must have seen my craving-for-Kisses FB post.  it was just so thoughtful of them. after that post, i had someone buy Kisses from 7-11 and they were not as i imagined them to be: smooth and creamy. this one certainly is! there's still a bit left which i plan to eat later :)

Happy 2013! Kisses everyone!

Soon to be very long scarf

I purchased Merino wool yarns from Dream Yarn shop in Glorietta 4 

to make a scarf for Erik. 

I already finished this one for him using 

100% wool yarn in basketweave stitch

But he said it was itchy. It's true that when you give men a scarf,

you have to make sure it's soft. 

So i bought merino wool which is soft and warm

and used this beautiful scarf pattern from Purlbee. 

i'm on my 2nd ball. 3 more to go! :)

i'm enjoying making scarves so much! 

especially when using soft beautiful yarns.

yes call me a yarn snob :)

this is not a love letter

reminiscing with a friend and i remembered a letter i wrote to a guy 5 years ago. a year after i could already laugh at this but i would share it here now just for laughs. i'm quite proud of this, my first and probably last (love?) letter hahaha!

para 'to sa mga nagpapakatanga pa rin hanggang ngayon. gising na!

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Jan. 27 2008...

xxxxxx,

ayoko sanang gawin 'to kasi nakakahiya. and i've never done this before. pero baka makatulong sa 'kin most especially.

when i told you that i fell in love with you, totoo yun. i wasn't being sarcastic. wag mo na tanungin kung bakit at paano, basta. di ko rin nga alam kung bakit.

siguro alam mo na yun or may inkling ka na kaya ka nagstart makipagtext sa 'kin. di naman kita masisisi. kung lalaki ako, ganun rin gagawin ko. mas matindi pa dun actually. kaya siguro hindi ako ginawang lalaki. karma ang pagiging babae ko ngayon dahil sa mga pinagagagawa ko as a guy in one of my past lifetimes.

basta naiintindihan ko kung bakit nakikipagflirt ka sa 'kin kahit may girlfriend ka na. sabi nga ng mga kaibigan ko, lalaki ako mag-isip. kaya alam ko rin na hindi ka naman seryoso. i think i know what you're really after. pero di naman ako ganun katanga. at kung yun nga ang habol mo, hindi rin ako galit. lalaki ka lang, i understand.

alam mo bang nadepress ako last year dahil sa 'yo? siyempre hindi mo alam. mahal ako ma-depress. kung saan-saan ako pumupunta, kung anu-ano pinagbibibili ko kahit di ko naman kelangan. tapos ok na ko, bigla kang nagtext. nagulo na naman ang buhay ko. nasayang mga ginastos ko sa camiguin at baguio.

and it's the same old story. wala namang nagbebenefit sa 'ting dalawa. nahihirapan lang ako kakahintay sa text o tawag mo. wala naman akong karapatan magdemand kasi textmate lang ako, ni hindi nga ako friend e. and i don't like that feeling. ikaw lang ang nagparamdam sa 'kin ng ganun, that i'm unimportant. well, pangalawa ka actually.

sabi ng mga friends ko, siguro na-chachallenge lang ako kasi i always get what i want, one way or another. ganun na lang ang gusto kong isipin. gusto kita kasi hindi kita makuha. gusto ko yung mga ayaw sa 'kin. masokista 'ko e.

pero kahit masokista, nauuntog rin. there comes a point when you just have to give up wanting something kasi you realize it's useless and pointless to pursue it because it's really not for you.

i know i deserve someone single. someone who will not treat me as plan b. someone who will love me. at hindi ikaw yun for sure. you love your girlfriend. i know kasi you're still with her. or if you don't, then you just don't like me enough. i can accept that. i'm a good loser.

i'm sincere in saying that i'm happy with what you have now and what you will have in the future. i wish you love by rachael yamagata. yan ang song na paulit-ulit kong pinakinggan sa camiguin and it's for you. it's about letting go without bitterness.

you don't need to reply to this email. mas gugustuhin ko pa yun para masarado na 'to. all i need is closure i think, then i can let go and move on. please help me by not texting and calling me anymore. i hope you understand. it will be easier for me if i don't hear from you anymore. i deserve to be happy too.

anyway aalis na rin ako sa 15. iiwan ko yung cellphone ko and when i get back in july, malamang i'll change my number.

sana in the future, when i'm already over you and we're both happy with someone else then we can be real friends and laugh about this letter. for now, ikaw na lang muna ang tumawa.

i'm sending this before i change my mind.

all the best,
xxxxxxx