Soon to be very long scarf

I purchased Merino wool yarns from Dream Yarn shop in Glorietta 4 

to make a scarf for Erik. 

I already finished this one for him using 

100% wool yarn in basketweave stitch

But he said it was itchy. It's true that when you give men a scarf,

you have to make sure it's soft. 

So i bought merino wool which is soft and warm

and used this beautiful scarf pattern from Purlbee. 

i'm on my 2nd ball. 3 more to go! :)

i'm enjoying making scarves so much! 

especially when using soft beautiful yarns.

yes call me a yarn snob :)

this is not a love letter

reminiscing with a friend and i remembered a letter i wrote to a guy 5 years ago. a year after i could already laugh at this but i would share it here now just for laughs. i'm quite proud of this, my first and probably last (love?) letter hahaha!

para 'to sa mga nagpapakatanga pa rin hanggang ngayon. gising na!

---

Jan. 27 2008...

xxxxxx,

ayoko sanang gawin 'to kasi nakakahiya. and i've never done this before. pero baka makatulong sa 'kin most especially.

when i told you that i fell in love with you, totoo yun. i wasn't being sarcastic. wag mo na tanungin kung bakit at paano, basta. di ko rin nga alam kung bakit.

siguro alam mo na yun or may inkling ka na kaya ka nagstart makipagtext sa 'kin. di naman kita masisisi. kung lalaki ako, ganun rin gagawin ko. mas matindi pa dun actually. kaya siguro hindi ako ginawang lalaki. karma ang pagiging babae ko ngayon dahil sa mga pinagagagawa ko as a guy in one of my past lifetimes.

basta naiintindihan ko kung bakit nakikipagflirt ka sa 'kin kahit may girlfriend ka na. sabi nga ng mga kaibigan ko, lalaki ako mag-isip. kaya alam ko rin na hindi ka naman seryoso. i think i know what you're really after. pero di naman ako ganun katanga. at kung yun nga ang habol mo, hindi rin ako galit. lalaki ka lang, i understand.

alam mo bang nadepress ako last year dahil sa 'yo? siyempre hindi mo alam. mahal ako ma-depress. kung saan-saan ako pumupunta, kung anu-ano pinagbibibili ko kahit di ko naman kelangan. tapos ok na ko, bigla kang nagtext. nagulo na naman ang buhay ko. nasayang mga ginastos ko sa camiguin at baguio.

and it's the same old story. wala namang nagbebenefit sa 'ting dalawa. nahihirapan lang ako kakahintay sa text o tawag mo. wala naman akong karapatan magdemand kasi textmate lang ako, ni hindi nga ako friend e. and i don't like that feeling. ikaw lang ang nagparamdam sa 'kin ng ganun, that i'm unimportant. well, pangalawa ka actually.

sabi ng mga friends ko, siguro na-chachallenge lang ako kasi i always get what i want, one way or another. ganun na lang ang gusto kong isipin. gusto kita kasi hindi kita makuha. gusto ko yung mga ayaw sa 'kin. masokista 'ko e.

pero kahit masokista, nauuntog rin. there comes a point when you just have to give up wanting something kasi you realize it's useless and pointless to pursue it because it's really not for you.

i know i deserve someone single. someone who will not treat me as plan b. someone who will love me. at hindi ikaw yun for sure. you love your girlfriend. i know kasi you're still with her. or if you don't, then you just don't like me enough. i can accept that. i'm a good loser.

i'm sincere in saying that i'm happy with what you have now and what you will have in the future. i wish you love by rachael yamagata. yan ang song na paulit-ulit kong pinakinggan sa camiguin and it's for you. it's about letting go without bitterness.

you don't need to reply to this email. mas gugustuhin ko pa yun para masarado na 'to. all i need is closure i think, then i can let go and move on. please help me by not texting and calling me anymore. i hope you understand. it will be easier for me if i don't hear from you anymore. i deserve to be happy too.

anyway aalis na rin ako sa 15. iiwan ko yung cellphone ko and when i get back in july, malamang i'll change my number.

sana in the future, when i'm already over you and we're both happy with someone else then we can be real friends and laugh about this letter. for now, ikaw na lang muna ang tumawa.

i'm sending this before i change my mind.

all the best,
xxxxxxx

4 and counting

i've been busy but i had to post the pictures that already piled up in my phone starting with our anniversary dinner pics :)

for our 4th anniversary, we ate at La Girolle in Taguig, BGC. it was a very memorable dinner. i just love the intimate ambiance of the 36-seater restaurant. the chef looked like he was in control of everything. he was there looking at us from the kitchen, making sure every food that was served went to him first. 

we were not that hungry when we arrived at 730pm but we still ordered the tasting menu which was only for 3k. considering it already included 7 courses with dessert and your choice of tea or coffee, it was really worth it. 

i wanted to buy a dozen of that small 

slightly sweet bread to take home with me.

Erik's extra order of Tuna Tartare. looks lovely and tastes good

( i don't eat raw tuna but i also tried this)

my set of utensils. 4 courses to go!

i love this dish! it's ricotta cheese with caramelized fruits.

this is the foie gras with the grapes cooked 3-way!

scallops in two kinds of sauce. i like the white one. 

i thought that was peeled grapes on the side. 

Erik tried to make me eat it by agreeing that they were grapes

but before it was too late, i recognized that they were shallots! :P

the 48-hour beef or something like that. i was so full by this time 

but i still tried to eat it.  erik said the little white thing on the side was a nut!

i thought it suspiciously looked like a clove of garlic but i believed him. 

stupid me, i ate it and i was right!

time for dessert! just look at this dome of yumminess! 

there were two desserts with our coffee.

we only ate about two bites each but they were really delicious.

and i love the coffee too! 

we came from Wildflour for lunch and the coffee there, never mind the food, doesn't measure up to this one. i will not go back to Wildflour but will definitely eat again at La Girolle. the good thing about them is they change their menus all the time so there's always a reason to go back. 

one thing i realized is that we don't have an anniversary pic! :(

---

eat here!

RESTAURANT LA GIROLLE
2nd Floor Blue Sapphire Building
30th Street, 2nd Avenue
Bonifacio Global City, Taguig
Chef Amando Ian Padilla
Mobile: +63 917 8035423
Telephone: +632 478 4119
Email: groupegirolleinc@yahoo.com.ph 

for the basurera in all of us...

this is the easiest tutorial i followed! 

will make more of this for myself in the future. 

i quilted the two with my Warm Cotton batting to make it stand up. 

it looks so nice and my sewing is getting better.

almost straight seam lines! :)

this one's slightly bigger. 

 it can also be unfolded to adjust the size.

i'll be giving these as gifts to my handmade giveaway list.

9 remaining and 6 of them are men. as always, it's harder to give gifts to men :(

broken record

everything is going downhill for me.  everything. you name it.  worst of all, my youngest daughter is very ill and may die in 2 weeks from Canine Distemper (CD). 

this is Sushi right now. so different from her usual self.  she's so weak and can't even stand up or walk. it all started a few days ago when she vomited nonstop after eating. i had her brought to her vet who said she had liver problems and that she was anemic.she was still okay last night though a little lethargic. but early today, our house help noticed that she couldn't walk. her two front legs were stiff. i had her brought to Animal House and they diagnosed her as having CD. it's contagious to other dogs so they couldn't confine her. 

she's on dextrose and can only eat and drink by force feeding. every now and then she twitches and has seizures. she's in the advanced stage already. 

i searched online and found out about this alternative treatment: spinal tap. so we looked for the Lasota strain to use a vaccine for her. but all the poultry shops are closed right now because it's Sunday. even with that, the doctor said it's still a 50-50 chance that she will die or recover. before they give the vaccine to her, she needs to be sedated. the vet said it's possible that she will not wake up after sedation. 

  

i have no one to talk to about this. it's just me and this blog. and as always and with other things,  i have to figure out how to solve this on my own and get through this somehow. 

this is the usual Sushi. playful, stubborn and makulit. 

Sushi just turned 2 last Oct. 14. she's still so young. if only i can die instead of her, i will.  i can't bear it if she dies before me. if she dies, there's no reason for me to go on anymore. ang drama but that's how i feel right now.

if you're reading this, please pray that she survives this. thank you very much. 

2 years after Miss Universe

ni hindi ko napanood ang pageant na 'to. 

sino'ng makakapagsabi na poproblemahin ko pala ang TF ni Venus Raj ngayon...

at kung saan hahagilap ng ganitong klaseng gown para sa shoot sa 30. 

:(

---

updated (October 29)

thank you Venus! she's so nice and accommodating.

a real beauty queen.

Tiktik: The Aswang Chronicles

are you tried of romantic comedies? then please watch this movie which opens today in cinemas nationwide!

i'm sure nitpickers will find something they don't like about the movie. i did. i'm not happy with the CG in the latter part. but if you are a CG person, you will understand why that is so and still be amazed that the CG artists were able to accomplish this feat in such a short time and with technology way older than what Hollywood is currently using. 

when i asked if we can really achieve the Hollywood style CG effects, it turns out we cannot. it's because we don't have the motion capture technology which movies like Avatar, Planet of the Apes and Lord of The Rings used to create realistic characters like Gollum. 

just read this link to learn how a character like Gollum was created...

Photo courtesy of New Line

and that's just for one CG character. for Tiktik, there were only 60 artists more or less to do everything in just a year so it's really a feat in itself.

i also learned that for each CG character with the optimum CG effects, rendering takes about 11-14minutes per frame. PER FRAME! imagine how long it would take to render a 1-minute action sequence that way?  

(calculation: if per second, you have 24 frames x 60seconds = 1440 frames/minute. multiply that by 11minutes and it will take you 15840 minutes or 640 hours (27days) just for a minute of CG effects! is my Math correct? :[ )

anyway, that's why the visual effects supervisor's job is very important. aside from making sure that the artists deliver, he also has to calculate render time per CG. some of the CG effects were rendered in their optimum render time which was 11-14 minutes/frame. but some had to be sacrificed and brought down from 11 minutes to 3-4 minutes or else they couldn't have been shown today.  

now this is the sad part: i asked if we can ever get the motion capture technology that Hollywood is now using and the answer is (maybe) in 10 years. in 10 years, i wonder what kind of amazing technology Hollywood would have by then. 

but who knows? we have our first movie shot entirely on green screen. maybe this is the start of better things to come for Philippine movies.