high school reunion

i never liked high school.

except for the COCC and CAT days which i enjoyed, i hated high school. i wasn't a favorite of my teachers for one because i was quiet, didn't talk much. though i was at the top 10 of my class, i wasn't charming or sipsip. there was a group of pretty, smart and charming girls in our batch but i wasn't one of them. they were actually nice and friendly but i didn't like them. maybe i was jealous.

in my first few weeks in college, i found myself in the group of 3 or 4 pretty, smart ladies but for some reason, i felt awkward being with them. i felt out of place because i wasn't like them. i wasn't kikay. i wasn't wearing powder on my face. they were nice but i felt we had nothing in common. they reminded me of the girls i didn't like (but did not hate either in high school) so i smoothly eased myself out of that group and found my friends who would be friends until senior year. simple smart girls they were.

but of course only one friend remain who i still get in touch with up to now: mylene.

what's wrong with me? some people have different sets of friends: from high school, from college, work, church, etc. i only have a few people i can text or call when i want to go to the mall and watch a movie. mylene is not one of them because she already has a family and it's hard for her to go out unplanned.

so i only rely on my friends from work but they're all busy with work most of the time. of course.

sometimes, i wonder how many people treat me as their friend. how many people would go to my wake and introduce themselves to my family as my friend? good friend? best friend?

i have more than a thousand friends in FB but if i streamline it and retain just the people who i can and  would turn to if i need money (because money is really the best way to test any relationship), i doubt if i'll reach 50 people, even 30.

i find it so sad that social networking sites like FB make you reach out to more people but in essence, it really makes you lose the real connection that's needed to maintain your relationships and make them grow. if there's no FB, you would call your loved ones more or meet up with them more regularly. but nowadays, liking is connecting.

my decision right now is not to attend my high school reunion next year. it's still early but i don't think i'll change my mind.  my friends from high school and i have grown apart. we have only been communicating via FB or one or 2 text messages every year. that can't be called friendship. not really looking forward to seeing anyone from high school.

but i would lie if i say that i don't want to hear the stories ABOUT ME in high school which are mostly forgotten now. if it's only possible to put a hidden camera where they're going to meet and record their conversations. that way, i could listen but not be present. and when it gets boring (meaning they stopped talking about me hahaha), i could just switch the camera off, leave them and do whatever i have to do. that easy.

Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion

Loved this movie.