Thursday, March 31, 2011

i'm going to buy this book!

i saw the post from a friend about this book. i had (an innocent, non-lesbian) crush on her when i first met her through erik. weird, having a crush on your future boyfriend's girlfriend. she struck me as smart, simple, strong and beautiful. erik also said she's a very good writer so i'm going to buy it and support her. maybe, erik has to read it too to learn more about himself from an ex's POV hahaha!

i wanted to leave a comment on her blog. in fact, i already composed the simple message of congratulations for finishing a book and publishing it herself. that's not easy to do! but is that acceptable behavior? i decided not to. it might be awkward. 

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

small things mean a lot

banana cue, just the way i like it. thanks tata and che.

homemade banana cue

dahil sa gawaing di maganda

naranasan mo na ba yung may ginagawa ka,
tapos wala kang ginawa kung hindi bumuntong-hininga?
nagde-daydream ka.
kung anu-ano iniisip mo, kung anu-ano ginagawa mo sa internet?
gagawin mo lahat except dun sa ginagawa mong yun.
hindi ba ibig sabihin nun hindi mo gusto yung ginagawa mo?

pero minsan may ginagawa ka
tapos yun lang ang ginagawa mo
pero hindi ka naiinip, hindi ka naiinis, hindi ka nadi-distract
nandun lahat ng concentration mo, ng pagmamahal mo.
gusto ko ng ganun.

parang pag nagdo-drawing ako sa class, hindi ko nami-miss ang internet.
kahit hindi ako maglaro sa iPhone ko ok lang din.
nandun lahat ng atensyon ko.
pero kahit yun, napapabayaan ko na ngayon.
lagi akong absent sa klase
dahil sa gawaing hindi maganda.


Monday, March 28, 2011

ping ping jan jan

on ping lacson, i'm impressed at how he was able to travel with only a travel document (what kind kaya?) and no passport. of course somebody helped him travel undetected. but our government looks really stupid because if ping lacson didn't show up, they still wouldn't know where he is.

what an exciting life!

on jan jan, the 6 year old boy who macho-danced on Willieng-Willie, it's not Willie i really blame but the parents especially the proud father and auntie who taught him to dance like that. do they want him to be a macho dancer when he grows up? it's the same feeling i get when i see young girls dancing like the Sexbomb girls. why can't they dance like kids? of course, these young girls see the sexy dancers everyday grinding like that on TV.

how about jan jan? where did he see that kind of dance? maybe from gay movies his father watch? i dread to think that his father owns a gaybar aside from a beauty parlor :[

anyway i don't expect too much from Willie so i'm not really surprised that he tolerated that on his show.  BUT i expect more from parents/guardians. responsible parenthood is the keyword.

Sunday, March 27, 2011


took a break from writing to watch the Sarah-Gerald movie Catch Me, I'm In Love.

from the start of the film, it looked very familiar. of course it's a Star Cinema movie. the poor/lower middle class families should be happy while the rich counterpart should be detached, distant, not the ideal family.

in fairness to Sarah Geronimo, she really is a star. she was able to carry the movie all by herself. gerald wasn't bad but he's not john lloyd. and of course the story didn't help much. it was obvious to me that it was being revised while being shot. the last 1/3 of the film didn't make sense. this is shortcut version of A Very Special Love with the son of the president of the Philippines instead of a president of a company and it paled in comparison to AVSL. why do they need to tell that story the 2nd time around?

my conclusion after watching the movie is that Star Cinema should start thinking of another genre to do aside from romcom because it's obvious they are running out of love stories. good love stories that is.

oh and by the way, Christopher De Leon was soooo bad in such a small role. what happened to him and his acting? he's deteriorating  in his craft as he ages.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Baguio in mid-April!

i meant to reserve rooms in Casa Vallejo which Raymond recommended but i looked for other B&Bs in Baguio and found this one: PNKY Bed and Breakfast

the pictures look nice! hope it doesn't disappoint. 

Van Gogh room care of PNKY website

Thursday, March 24, 2011

mixed media

using colored pencil and doing mixed media for the first time.

colored pencil, charcoal and ink

colored pencil, watercolor and ink

i've always loved using watercolor. it makes me concentrate on the details. if only i didn't have to write now, i would love finishing the details in this drawing including the background :(

Maiko, 2011 (watercolor and ink)

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

for politicans and showbiz personalities

if you don't feel too confident that you can maintain the personality that you're projecting in public, then stop using Twitter.

let it be a lesson that people have a certain image of you. they always expect you to be patient, nice and understanding no matter what they inquire about. kahit tungkol pa sa pag-absent mo sa congress hearing hahaha. just like Manny Pacquiao. he was not able to hide his immaturity when he replied to some followers who asked him why did not attend the congress hearing. he replied with, "e di magsumbong ka sa lolo mong panot hahaha!" sad :(

he ended up deleting his Twitter account hahaha.

Monday, March 21, 2011

care of master chef erik hehe. yummy!

sauteed vegetables

steak with gnocchi
what's for tomorrow? lots of meetings! sigh.
all i can think about is drawing, coloring, looking at nice pictures online, using my newly bought art materials. sigh again.

my art materials with my oil pastel (failed) exercise
this week i'll be writing the pilot episode of a new soap. hopefully, i still get to go to class this Thursday. have to finish 3 plates of mixed media.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

i don't like drawing using pen

it's difficult. it's not my medium and it takes a lot of time but the finished product still doesn't satisfy me.

Kyoto station,  2008
made a mistake with the bended leg

Vintage fan, 2011

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

how to pronounce "tsunami"

i'm feeling OC every time i hear it pronounced the wrong way. somebody should correct Noli De Castro or any other journalists who make the same mistake because it's their job to know the right pronunciation of whatever they're reporting, especially if it's a foreign word.

tsunami is not pronounced as choo-nami.  it's tsu (with a pronounced t sound and a su). the tsu sound has a hard t in front of it, not the soft su sound that English speakers use when they read this syllable or the chu or choo sound that Pinoys use.

tsunami, a very powerful three syllable word.

and it's only 2011...

first, the Libya war which is still ongoing.

then the earthquake, tsunami and the nuclear crisis in northern Japan.

now there's another looming war in Bahrain.

scary. it's like the world is starting to crumble.

Photo credit: AP
what will happen to us?

Monday, March 14, 2011

to live

Vondel Park, Amsterdam 2004

quality of life.
wants to go to Amsterdam.
more than that.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

one rainy night in Japan

the recent news saddens me. 

the picture below is to remind me of the Japan i know. 

outside my apartment in Saitama, Japan; 2008

i took this picture the night before i left Japan. after four months of staying there for a grant, i can say it's my favorite country in the world (understandably). i valued the silence, the cleanliness, the efficiency, the respect for privacy, most of all, the politeness and courteousness of the Japanese people.

they have gone through tougher times than this. they will pull through.

Thursday, March 10, 2011


Have Dutch women found the secret to happiness?

I have never been a feminist. I have never been after equality between men and women. As long as a man respects me and loves me, I can always accept him as my master and superior because he wouldn't be my boyfriend anyway if I feel that I'm smarter or more successful than he is.

I still look for chivalry. When I'm standing inside the train, I still expect men to give up their seats to women (maybe not to me but to the elderly or women with kids). And if a man would give up his seat for me, then i would appreciate him more.

It's always been more natural for women to take care of the men e. Of course we can do whatever the men can do, maybe better! But unlike men, we won't kill ourselves to prove ourselves to others. We do it just because we want to do it. With men, they love to compete, to hunt, to go head to head against other men for food/money/other women. It's their nature to be that way.

But the problem is, i think men nowadays are the ones who want equality because they don't want to be fully responsible of their women. Feeling siguro nila, ano kayo sinusuwerte? Kami lang magpapakahirap magtrabaho? Where can you find men who would gladly provide for their women, let them do what they want, and not force them to work because they want to worship them instead? Wala nang ganun!

I think the article is a big lie or maybe it's only true for a small population of (Dutch) women. I don't want to believe that so many women are living like this and I'm not one of them.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Remington needs you!

our film needs additional investors!

it's currently in post production right now with the special effects, music and sound being finalized. but we still need money for the marketing and distribution aspect. we want it to be seen by as many Filipinos as possible so we want to promote it using TV, radio and print ads.

if you're interested in investing, please email me at and i'll get back to you. we have the ROI ready for presentation anytime. to know more about our company, please check out our webpage:

NOTE: it's a high risk investment with possible big returns if the movie becomes a hit.

please watch the official teaser below:

tell your friends about Remington please! maybe they can help ;D

Thursday, March 3, 2011

split personality

if i had a choice, i would resign right now from TV work.

i would just finish my fashion design course and take it together with the dressmaking course. if i go to school regularly, i can finish the course in a year siguro. (i remember when my sister in Australia wanted to take up a baking course, she and kuya abe had to talk and make a lot of sacrifices because of the kids. but they were able to do it with each other's support.)

i would read books everyday just like i used to do in Japan during my grant (oh, how i miss those carefree days). 

i would write the stories i want to write.

then when i'm finished with my studies, i would put up an online store or something. or just design for friends first to build my portfolio. then eventually, my clientele will grow without me having to advertise myself.

but these can only happen in a perfect world. this one i'm in is far, far from it.


by the way, i'm absent today from class because i have to write trash.

but what is trash?

think of rogelio and the pinoys who eat pagpag everyday. i should be happy because i'm luckier. i should be happy. be happy. be happy.



Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Globe is not Smart

last year, after more or less 10 years of a steady relationship with Smart, i left it for Globe.

in that 10 years, the only complaint i have of Smart is that it always ignored me. didn't make me feel special. it took me for granted as a loyal client. so when friends, especially a special someone, told me to leave it for Globe, it was easy to decide.

when i went to the center to have my line disconnected, Smart didn't even ask me why i'm breaking up with it. it just let me go, as if we weren't together for 10 years! i was being ignored again. so it made my decision easier.

so i applied for Globe in August last year and after only just 2 months, i'm calling their hotline to complain that my auto debit request hasn't been processed yet (i left all my requirements with them on the same day i applied for my line).

i followed up every month and i always got a reference number in return. but nothing happened. last December or January, i even got a disconnection notice. so i followed up again. and they gave me another reference number. but i didn't hear a word from them since then.

it's now March 1 and i found out when i woke up that i couldn't send a text message. my line has been temporarily disconnected! WTF!

out of principle, i don't want to go to their center and give them my requirements AGAIN! whoever was responsible should find my documents and file my auto debit request. in the meantime, i'm stuck with globe for another 1 and a half years.

isn't there a way out? can i just go back to boring but reliable Smart? i want my iPhone but not the all-talk-but-no-action Globe!

yesterday when i was young

turning 32 in 2 months :(


Seems the love I've known has always been
The most destructive kind
Yes, that's why now I feel so old
Before my time.

Yesterday when I was young
The taste of life was sweet as rain upon my tongue.
I teased at life as if it were a foolish game,
The way the evening breeze may tease a candle flame.
The thousand dreams I dreamed, the splendid things I planned
I'd always built to last on weak and shifting sand.
I lived by night and shunned the naked light of the day
And only now I see how the years ran away.
[ Lyrics from: ]
Yesterday when I was young
So many happy songs were waiting to be sung,
So many wild pleasures lay in store for me
And so much pain my dazzled eyes refused to see.
I ran so fast that time and youth at last ran out,
I never stopped to think what life was all about
And every conversation I can now recall
Concerned itself with me and nothing else at all.

Yesterday the moon was blue
And every crazy day brought something new to do.
I used my magic age as if it were a wand
And never saw the waste and emptiness beyond.
The game of love I played with arrogance and pride
And every flame I lit too quickly, quickly died.
The friends I made all seemed somehow to drift away
And only I am left on stage to end the play.

There are so many songs in me that won't be sung,
I feel the bitter taste of tears upon my tongue.
The time has come for me to pay for
Yesterday when I was young...